The idea that you either have to be stoically uninterested in how you look and act to be a dude is ridiculous. For hundreds, even thousands of years, men went to great lengths to be fashionable, put real effort into the way that they looked, and had complex and steadfast rules of conduct and honor.
So what's changed? Why was class and lace replaced with beer guts and flannel?
Laziness. That's the poison men have let seep into their bones. Men don't want to put in any effort anymore. They want to wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, and copulate. Is that really all there is to life? Damn near every animal on the planet lives that way, but we've been given the mental faculties to change that, for better or worse.
Most men today seem content to live out their lives in mediocrity, taking the “normal” course that they feel is culturally acceptable, blending into a crowd of other slovenly guys who also never cared to be anything more. I can't be the only one who finds that depressing.
The truth is, for most dudes it's easier to let themselves be something unimpressive than spend a little bit of time and money making themselves into something better.
Of course, even those that do wish to change, to become someone of refinement and class, face a second obstacle:
2.) Men have become cowards.
That's right. I'm calling out my whole dang gender. Men are ruled by fear. What fear, you ask, most likely teetering on the edge of your seat?
The fear of other men not approving of them.
It's actually a quality we share with women. One of the dirty little secrets of womankind is that when they're dressing up and primping themselves, it's not because they want to impress us, at least not entirely. It's because (and this is a generalization but don't pretend it's not true, ladies) women judge each other viciously. When a woman walks into a room, every other woman in it catalogues her features and outfit. Watch one of your female friends at a restaurant sometime; they check out other women just as much as we do.
Guys do the same thing, but we're much less aware of it and we'd be loath to admit it, while most women will be your best friend if you'll play the "let's judge other women" game (I'm great at it). Men are afraid that other men won't see them as being manly enough. We take a lot of pride in being a man, and we don't want anyone to think we're anything but a testosterone-fueled robot of masculinity.
So what do most men do? They let themselves be ordinary. They conform to the ridiculous, broken-down stereotypes that we apply to men, keeping us down, keeping us from rising up and being incredible.
Well screw that. I'm going to make myself look good, I'm going to like all the "girly" stuff that I like, and I'll be the only damned gentleman in a room of ruffians if I have to. At the end of the day, no matter what other guys think of me, I have to face myself.
And damned if I'm going to be anything but outstanding.
